Bob Jr.'s New Job

Now that school's started up, Bob Jr.'s decided to get a job. Since he's still in high school, most jobs are out of his reach, but one option remained. The elusive and marvelous minimum wage job.
Now Bob works eight hour days each weekend and an hour or two after school each night, flipping burgers at our local burger joint. Bob Sr. and I are so proud of him. He makes a mean bacon burger with extra cheese and no tomato. A little to much ketchup maybe, but every one has their faults.
DUD was so jealous of the fact that Bob Jr.'s actually making money that he insisted on a raise in his allowance. Instead of ten cents a month, he is now proud to be earning eleven cents, for all the house work he does. You've gotta love four year olds and their concept of money. I don't think he realizes that the amount of money he owns is only enough to buy about two candy bars a year, and I'm not going to be the one to break it to him. That would be his father's job.

My hat collection

They hang on the wall in me and Bob's bedroom. There are seven of them, when they are all hanging. On the far left is a simple white hat, the kind I wore on Easter when I was a kid. Next to it is a simple, boring, baseball cap from the '06 National Mock Trial Championship, which Bob Jr. participated in. The third cap is a joker's hat, with red-white-and-blue coloring. It has eight light up red balls on the ends of each segment that sticks out of it, and when I turn the hat on, the lights flash. Then there's the cowboy hat that I don't remember getting, and the purple paper bag hat that I got at a party. This hat was made, and then I got to decorate it. I attached multicolored pipe cleaners to the edges of its top, and bells to those. Time has caused the bells to pull the pipe cleaners down torwards the ground and droop. A black and white cap that always reminds me of my grandfather on my mom's side is next to this one, and the final cap is shaped so that it looks like a pink manta ray, with large eyes that creep me out, and my head stuck below it, so it looks like I'm being eaten by the thing when I wear it. Those are my hats.

School's started

Actually, it started two weeks ago, but still.
Dud's starting first grade this year, and Bob Jr is a senior in high school. It's crazy to try to drag all my kids to school each day and get them home each night. Luckily, Bob Jr. drives now, so I make him help. Bob Sr. is to lazy to be useful. His work's distracting him. Something with a giant rocking chair, I think.
The point is, my life's been hectic for awhile now. Don't be surprised if I don't post much during the work/school week--- I'm so busy I can hardly breathe.

Ode to Google

Oh Google your many uses are useful,
You can be used for almost anything,
The internet allows you
To try to make the whole world sing.

But where did you go yesterday?
I could not check my mail
I had to do a Yahoo! search,
Because Google's did fail.

I tried to see what was in the news,
But nothing seemed to be going on.
The computer said it could not be found,
It changed its mind this dawn.

At nine o'clock this morning
I tried to use you again.
To my delight Google worked
And still worked at ten.

Google, your useful for many things,
from images, to Earth
SketchUp is a lot like CAD
To a new internet gave birth.

Why I don't listen to music

Crazy, I know, but I really don't listen to the stuff. It's a waste of time, really. I have better things to do than spend hours with my ears plugged into a digital device. My eyes and fingers spend enough time doing that, thank you very much. It'd be a different matter all together if any of the "modern" music people listen to was any good, but it isn't, so I don't bother. There are about three bands/types of music I'll actually listen to, and none of them are particularly popular at this time of year.
My free time is better spent enjoying silence on my computer, watching online movies, or reading books. I don't want to risk damaging my already selective hearing any more than it already is by blasting music, so I don't even bother.
Logical? Probably not.
Oh, well.

"Mama Elephant"

Mom,
Kindly don't post nonsense jingles on my blog. It's weird. Not that this blog isn't weird, of course. But my point is this is my blog. If you want to babble about elephants going to church, feel free to make your own. Call me and I'll show you how. But please, please don't comment on my blog illogical stuff like that. Thankies!!!!
Dyda

Orange Whale has a Blog Now

Alright, here's how it works. That horrible Orange Whale has made his own blog with which to diss me. I am highly offended by the dissing, but quite flattered that he felt so threatened by me that he had to make his own blog with which to fight me. Very impressive. Of course, it would be a lot more impressive if he managed to use proper spelling and grammar, or something remotely resembling it, at least. You can't have everything, I guess.

Necessary Madness

Alright, Mr. Orange Whale, I see how it is. You clearly don't love purple elephants the way I do--I understand that. But that doesn't mean that you have to force your disgusting orange whales on me. I don't want to eat orange whales, and since the only good whale is found on a whaleburger, orange whales are completely useless.
Sorry, dude.

5W's and H

Who?
Bob
What?
Built
Where?
Rio de Janerio
When?
August 26, 2626
Why?
He wanted to.
How?
Using his tools.

Bowling

Today Bob and I took the kids bowling. DUD managed to get a couple of strikes, and Sally Ann managed to bowl a one-fifty. I was so proud of her. In case you were wondering here's a list of all my kids in order of birth.
Sally Ann
Bob Jr.
Bob III
Bob IV
Joey
Dyda Jr
DUD
Elizabeth
Ezekiel
Michaelangelo

Ode to the Red Sox

The Red Sox are my favorite team
They play basketball the best.
And they go up and down the field
In adorable yellow vests.

Yes, I do love the Red Sox.
I like watching them make touchdowns.
Whenever I see them play
My smile is no longer a frown.

I could tell you more and more,
about how they hit their puck
but I now must leave
and wish the Red Soxs luck!

Just call me Mrs. Builder

It is my name after all. Unless your Bob, or DuD or one of my other 8 kids, you have no excuse. This means you, Mom. And you, Aunt Tia. And you, Uncle Chignik.
Oh wait. Chignik isn't my uncle. It's a town on the Alaska Peninsula, northeast of Perryville. My bad. Sorry Uncle Galena. Oh... wait. That's another Alaskan town. Shoot. I can't remember Aunt Tia's husband's name. Oh, well.
Oops. My bad again. I don't have an Aunt Tia.

Ode to Eggpie

Eggpie, oh eggpie, how I loveth thee.
Thy taste is like a fake egg
and to obtain it
I would surely beg,

But if I could eat you every day,
Then I would surely be sad
for thy taste is but a special treat
Eat to much and I'll go mad.

Thy crunchy taco crusts do fill me
Thy yummy ham bits I adore
Thy cheesy goodness I do love
And will love forever more.

Thank the purple elephants for fake eggs
and the pie that they do make
pop it in the oven
and for forty minutes bake.

Yo

yo, yo, yo. What's up homey g-dogs. What's forshnizzle in the henizzle todizzle? Why do you eat cheezits in the hizouse?
See, I'm gangster, yo!

I am truly disappointed.

What's wrong with purple elephants? What's wrong with you people?
Purple elephants are vital to our economic structure... They keep the world turning, and the turn worlding. Without purple elephants, we'd be stuck in the stone age.

They are infinitely better than orange whales or shadowfates or whatever. tsk tsk tsk.

Vital Question

How is it possible to not love purple elephants? You may have seen the rude comment someone claiming to be named "orange whale" left on my first post. It was completely uncalled for.
Anyway, the question is, how is it humanly possible not to completely adore purple elephants? They are amazingly awesome. You have to love 'em.
By the way, how can you like orange whales? it's unnatural!

Mascot

Here's our blog mascot... do you like it?
if not, to bad for you, because I couldn't care less. This is my blog. If you don't like it. Make your own.

Ode to Loonyness

My brothers say I'm crazy
They claim I'm insane
They think that I've gone barking mad
and truly lost my brain

My friends all agree,
They think that I'm nuts to.
They roll their eyes and laugh
at all the things I do.

No matter what they may say,
I know the truth.
The voices all tell me
That I am no goof.

Ode to Popcorn

Oh yummiest of movie snacks,
your taste fills me with delight.
I want to enjoy your buttery taste
All day, into the night.

But when I try to eat you,
your taste quickly fades away
and I am left with nothing more
until the next delicious day.

Your color is so pleasant,
your taste is truly fine,
I love the crunch burnt bits
Oh, they are so divine.

If only I could show the world
your buttery delights
for then the lonely days
would be filled with crunchy kites.

Me and Bob

I LOVE Bob the Builder. I like to think he loves me to. We are very happy together, and our nine and a half kids are also. We try not to talk about Wendy. She's evil.
Our half a kid, Dud,was named after his father. Since he's only half a kid, he only has half a name, and when you cut Bob in half you either get Dnl or Dud, depending on whether you cut off the top half or the bottom half. Bob and I talked for awhile, and decided Dud made more sense than Dnl.

Boredom

Due to extreme boredom, I am starting this blog. I expect no one to read it, nor will I any include any personal information on it. It will be extremely random. Enjoy!

By the way, purple elephants rule!