Patriots in the Playoffs

The Patriots have their first playoff game tonight. For those of you who were surprised by their perfect season so far this year, don't be. They were under strict orders from the Divine Purple Elephant Queen to win every game they played. They know that if they loose a single game, then her Divinity will punish them to a life of eternal orangeness once she takes over the world.
And who in their right mind would want to be punished with the orangeness? The practice has been outlawed by the United Nations. They say it's inhumane to lock a person in a room with orange light bulbs, orange floor, orange ceiling, orange walls and feed them nothing but oranges and sweet potatoes. And of course, the person himself would be wearing nothing but, you guessed it, orange.
The Pats weren't to crazy about a life of orangeness (who would want to live so deprived of purple?), so they have no choice but to go undefeated through the entire season. If they loose tonight, though, don't expect to be seeing Tom Brady any time soon.